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Better pound all these beers so I can get the bottles in the bin for recycling day.
7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlik the rest of you morons.
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
Don’t trust people that dislike pizza. They’re probably not human.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
It`s pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it`s not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
Answering my phone and saying... FBI fraud division. Has really cut down on the telemarketers.
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
Kinda makes you wonder how many employees used to piss on their hands in the bathroom before management finally took action
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
Good Morning! A fresh cup of hot coffee and my FB page is up, just look at that, I already achieved all my goals for the day.