Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
The secret to success is in my bra.
"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
Life is far too short to remove the USB safely.
Did you know you have the right to remain silent even when you`re not being arrested?
The problem with you is ... you exist.
It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for……. “Your order’s ready.”
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.
Thinks that some of you make impulsive, poor thought out decisions. We should totally hang out more!!!
I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.
I got my panties all in a bunch ... You know those Wal Mart 10 pack cotton bundles.