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I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
If you own a podium and put up a sign that says "valet" on it, can you just steal cars?
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes… but we all know I’m Hilarious.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
I don’t drink water, unless it’s been through a brewery first.
Life is just better when you’re laughing.
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.