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I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
I bet more people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
Next time you see someone you don`t like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
When I`m at the mall, I carry a purse around so people think I have a girlfriend.
Iād drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, "It`s okay, I think we lost him."
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.
for every like, I will fart on my wife face
The best part of being single is that you always get to be right.
I was at the hospital earlier today and saw a cute girl with a cast on her leg. Naturally, my first thought was "Hey, this one can`t run away..."