Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you have to ask if it`s too early to drink wine...You`re an amateur and we can`t be friends.
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
Research shows that, when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" ... He in fact did.
Nothing says God is forgiving like hell.
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
I`m the perfect man if you don`t factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being.
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....
My goal today is to turn actions into thoughts.
If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.
I miss the old days when I could say I wasn`t around and you couldn`t check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”