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It`s Thanksgiving. Don`t forget to set your scale back 25 lbs
I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy sh!t.
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
Sometimes I think of something so wrong and inappropriate that my little black heart skips a beat with delight.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We`ll see about that.
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married, right?
So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
I hate it when people like their own statuses * At this point you like your status for dramatic effect*
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it`s fun to push things down the stairs.
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
Some people`s lives are like open books... Mine is like a trashcan without a lid.
I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?