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How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
Computer froze? Just press all the keys.
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
Gym update: not there
I fake my LOLs
If video games have taught me anything, it’s that if you encounter enemies then you’re going the right way.
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
If you can´t read this, you´re illiterate.
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
Just remember, outside of that beautiful slim bride on her wedding day there’s a fat woman just waiting to get in.
Just realized the irony of putting Bacon on my VeggieBurger..........