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Thanks to whoever made electrical outlets look like tiny screaming faces trapped inside my walls I can`t make eye contact.
If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unattractive, theyβd eventually find me attractive.
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn`t mean to eat it. I don`t want to be a bug.
I really don`t need to be loved.. I would settle for being tolerated. :)
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
Two wrongs may not make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
People would probably piss me off a lot less if I was allowed to drive a tank.
Paintball is much more fun when the other people at Walmart donβt know we are playing.
I self medicate, therefore you live.
I donβt want to rule the worldβ¦ Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
Ever noticed how you used to be embarrassed by things you did or that happen to you, but now your first thought is "I can post that"
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I`m really fun to talk to.
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.