Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Thanks to whoever made electrical outlets look like tiny screaming faces trapped inside my walls I can`t make eye contact.
"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
with great power...comes great electric bill...
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
Someday, somewhere, somehow I’m going to do something.
Unless you fell off the stairmaster and a barbell fell on your face... no one wants to hear about your workout.
Sorry about last night texts. My phone was drunk.
I can`t believe that it`s the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn`t believe in reincarnation either".
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.
If someone invites you to their wedding, it`s apparently bad form to say "Sorry I can`t make it but I`ll come to your next one".