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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
There’s a special place in Hell for people who call to see if you got their email!
They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that`s why I surround myself with lazy people
I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer.
Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
I just ended a long-term relationship today ... I’m ok though, it wasn’t mine.
I`ve got to remember to tie a string around my finger!
Do whatever you want. And if it’s something you’re going to regret in the morning…sleep late.
I`m not an asshole, I`m just the only one who has the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
Don’t get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon for having no life.
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked ... So did all the other people at the post office.