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Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
Calm down! I`m not officially late until I actually get there.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
FACT: 99.7% of guys named "Dan" are not actually "The Man".
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
Is Nudeism a religion?
You would think with all the ice water laying all over the world, it would be a lot cooler...
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. I came back drunk.
Excellent Group Ice Breaker: Do you think sailors feel pressured to swear?
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.