Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don`t know how to play chess.
I like people... From a distance.
Apparently there is no age limit on ignorance.
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft.
My therapist just offered me my money back.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
I party like a rockstar. A very poor rockstar who isn`t in a band.
LIFE HACK: Sneak into doctor`s waiting rooms instead of subscribing to magazines.
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.
My mind is telling me nooo... But my body... My body`s telling me yesss...BABY. Cashier: Sir...would you like fries with that or not?
Friends that are with you during your darkest times probably didn’t pay their electric bill either.