Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I got drunk last night and watched the most hilarious television show for hours until I sobered up and realized it was just a mirror.
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
Don`t tell me I look tired unless you`re offering to carry me
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.
You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
Drinking always starts out as the best idea you’ve ever had.
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
When I order pizza online, in the "Special Instructions for the Driver" box, I put "Tell me I`m a pretty princess".
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.
Cops don’t like it when you ask them “Need some help?” especially when you’re wearing a Batman costume.
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.