Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
The sperm bank is overpriced to store my stuff so if you come over, don`t use the cloudy ice cubes from the tray labelled "Future Champions"
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
If a dentist makes his money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
If your wife asks you if you know where the broom is, it`s not a good idea to ask her if she is going somewhere.
It’s my favorite time of the day: How long can I stare directly at my monitor and do absolutely nothing o’clock.
Life is far too short to remove the USB safely.
gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can´t remember if it´s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
I wouldn’t say your ugly, you are just beautichallenged.
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books