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The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
I`ll tell you what a woman wants. She wants you to drag her to the bedroom, toss her down, and do the dishes and laundry while she takes a nap.
Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
People say there are plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish.
Breaking News: I took a bath today
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
If you didn`t want to be hit with a shovel then you never should have started telling me about your problems.
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
You know it`s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
My friend told me his girlfriend talks a lot in her sleep..Apparently "I know" was not the right answer...
What`s the hold up on making extremely heavy shoes for toddlers so they can`t run around so much?
Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion.
MARRIAGE TIP: Don`t get fat.
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.
What I’m really looking for in a friend is loyalty. And a pool. Mainly just a pool.