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I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
If you got up this morning and ran straight to fb i am 100% POSITIVE its because you missed me.
Yes, I know why you pulled me over. I didn`t see you in your little hiding spot over there, so I couldn`t slow down in time.
I hate it when I`m in a crowded elevator and yell out "GROUP HUG!" and people look at me all weird and stuff.. Making friends is hard.
Stall Cleaning service, Satisfaction guaranteed or 100% or you manure back!
Is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep?
I`m lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
Don`t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy man`s food!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!
I don`t know what is longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
I consider each one of my friends a gift. Now if only I could remember where I put some of those receipts.
A girl phoned me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
I`ve been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately. The most common one seems to be "You said you`d be home from the bar three f*cking hours ago!"
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: