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There`s a time and place for wine, In my hand and now.
When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented.
I sure buy a lot of alcohol. Hope I`m not a shopaholic.
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here`s the bad news. You just wasted it reading this post.
They say you need about 2000 calories a day. Ok, time to do math. 65 calories in one fluid ounce of Jack Daniel`s means i need 30 shots tonight.
When I drink I become everybody`s friend which makes up for my hating everybody when I`m sober.
u cant spell awesome without me
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
Her: Do you want to run away with me? ME: We won`t actually be running, right?