Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
Some people need to calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
My advice for pretty much anything that`s broken is "did you try and jiggle it?".
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why i fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again..
The best way to deal with dumb people is to never leave your house sober
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
Just as I predicted, today was in fact a new day!
I`m bored, I think I`ll ask my boyfriend if I look fat. - women
Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won`t send my dog to obedience school
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,…Why don’t you ever smile in my pictures?
am a bomb technician...anytime you see me running. Try keep it up
I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.
Ringing in the “New Year” apparently is not a valid excuse for showing up to work 3 hours late… in October.
Know what? If they had Neosporin back in 1931, that nasty scar on Frankenstein`s forehead would have been far less noticeable.