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The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
There’s plenty of fish in the sea… I just suck at fishing.
Say no to drugs! Then again, if you`re talking to drugs, you`re probably already on drugs.
about love
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for stupid people.
Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
Do transformers have health insurance or car insurance???
People would probably piss me off a lot less if I was allowed to drive a tank.
I finally did it. I gave my cat a bath today. It really wasn`t that bad. She enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Other than the fur sticking to the roof of my mouth, it went well.
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-ass".
I`ll bet whoever said "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" had just farted
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore