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According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel, that`s why I like you.
Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
I always honk when I drive by homeless guys sleeping, just in case they overslept for a meeting
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
It`s going to be so disappointing if we ever ask aliens about crop circles and they`re just like, "We really hate corn."
You seem like a sweat person. Mind if I lick you to find out?
Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, "try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal."
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
What if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside
Breaking News: Viagra shippment stolen... Cops are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever.