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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
A lot of people are very competitive when playing stupid.
I`ll act my age when I`m 69..
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
I don`t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
Beer doesn’t have that many vitamins in it…that’s why you have to drink a lot.
If someone says "I`m a sub-par golfer" does that mean they`re good at golf, or bad?
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you`ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
Did a 5k today. Except it was how many calories I had at lunch.
I don`t want to brag, but I`m single-handedly responsible for 86% of the rules in the Employee Handbook at work.
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my a$$, I can`t.