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I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes actually. Okay, all grapes. Fermented grapes. Ok, I’m having wine for dinner.
They say that nobody is perfect, then they say that practice makes perfect. I wish they`d make up their mind
It`s all fun and games until the cops show up.
I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I`ll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
My mom wanted to talk to me about my maturity today, but she didn`t know the password to my secret fort.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
I wonder what it feels like to be wrong.
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
Sometimes I can’t remember what parking lot I left my car in at the mall so I get it Malaysia Airlines…I totally get it.
I`m the opposite of psychic. I don`t even know what I`m thinking! ;)
Don`t expect me not to hopscotch all over your house if you have fancy tiles.
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don`t have a moon where I live.
You`re never too old to ride in a radio flyer wagon but apparently you can be too fat.