Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
The only way a fidgey spinner would relieve my stress is if it was edible ...
I`ve got to remember to tie a string around my finger!
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys.
I have every episode of Hoarders saved on DVD.
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.
Don`t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex`s name tattooed.
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven
People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don`t want to talk.
Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever.
If you cut your child`s sandwich into squares instead of triangles, you suck at parenting...
I’m glad to know that we will never have to worry about a lack of weathermen. I mean, I know at least a couple dozen on Facebook.