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Okay, calm down. Its a spider. Just one tiny litt- HOLY MOLY IT MOVED!
With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
I watched my first Porn the other day. I looked so much younger back then!
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? ;)
My walk of shame is when I have to take all the the empty Taco Bell bags out of my car and bring them to the garbage can.
I Googled, “Who gives a sh!t?” and I was not in the search results.
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.
I`d like to thank my exs for encouraging me to learn about cars. Like how to cut the break lines, hoses, or discreetly slash a tire.
Porn teaches kids an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.