Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Fighting is bad. Breaking up a fight between a douchebag and the bar owner is good. Thank God I`m a ninja.
You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
I noticed the toilet roll incorrectly installed in your selfie.
Change is hard. Seriously have you ever tried to bite a nickel?
Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Sö î hèãrd ÿôu lìkê gùÿš with ácçeñts?
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
Don`t blame the holidays, you were fat in August.
Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don`t get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case...
I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.
Show me, on this cat calendar, how long it`s been since you`ve had a date?
A woman that doesn`t ask for nothing deserves everything
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
Plumber: you have hard water. Me: you mean like ice?