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Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back in my toy chest..
If cats had wings, they would still just lay there.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit".
I need to stop making things more complicated than they need to be. I`m adding that to my bucket Power Point presentation.
Good things come to those who wait ... Which explains why I`m always late.
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
QVC has agreed to purchase the Home Shopping Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
Does shaking the vending machine count as working ...
I find that some of the best jokes are the ones that drag you in slowly and then leave you waiting in antici...
When asked how I take my coffee, I reply with, "Seriously. Very seriously."
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired.