Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you think you`re bad with words, imagine the first guy to say "There there" when consoling someone
The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I posted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"
Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
When people tell me "You`re gonna regret that in the morning"...I sleep in till noon, because I`m a problem solver.
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
The best part of waking up is.....wait, I didn`t think this through entirely.
If you hear a roommate having loud sex, a cool thing to do is kick down the door and shout "player 3 has entered the game!"
"Let the chips fall where they may." -My kids when they`re eating chips on the couch.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
I haven`t crunched all the numbers, but early calculations show that a large percentage of people don`t care what you think.
It`s not karma, you`re just an idiot.
Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.