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Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
Oh, he uses you for sex? Stop bitching…Sex is awesome. Complain when he’s using you for laundry….. or a human shield.
When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
If you tickle me, I’m not responsible for your injuries.
Hooters does have hot girls, but the Subway girls are the real wife material.
The lady next to me in the elevator told me to press One. That was the last thing I remembered
I do love you for your mind, I just like your mind a lot more when you’re naked.
So... Where does one obtain minions?
Money isn`t the key to happiness ... Wait a minute, I`ll just pay to have a key made.
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?
When I`m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.