Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
Have you noticed that tire stores never hang big banners that say "Blowout Sale"?
Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
Looking back.. I think I preferred you when I didn`t know you...
Sometimes I wish that I could put my wife on airplane mode.
I can come up with plenty of ways to do nothing.
The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don`t want anymore children living on our street.
The problem with plants is that you have to water them… like more than once apparently.
So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
Someday, somewhere, somehow I’m going to do something.
FUN FACT: If you take all of the marshmellows out of a box of Lucky Chrams, you`ll have a bag of Purina Cat Chow
MARRIAGE TIP: Don`t get fat.