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Sometimes all you need is $100,000
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant
"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
Now I lay me down to sleep, a bottle of vodka at my feet, if I should die before I wake, tell my friends I drank it straight.
In space they just call it "Jam"
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it’s AM. Google thinks I’ve got my life together.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
Hey micky you`re so fine, you`re so fine you blow my mind hey micky! hey micky! Admit it, you didnt read it, you sang it
My last boyfriend used to smile and say "I love you" to me every morning as he left for work. At least I think that`s what he was saying. It can be tricky to lip read through binoculars.
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
I had your cake and ate it too.
NO, I didn’t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.