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I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
"Waiter, I`d like to send this back" -m`am, I believe that`s your husband.
Thought cartoons were getting better. Turns out it was a news story about Justin Bieber.
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
Men would be way more excited about cleaning if spray bottles made a laser noise.
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that`s okay with you guys?
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
There are people on Facebook who don`t realize the difference between "What`s on your mind" or "I should talk to a therapist about this"
Every family has a plastic bag full of plastic bags.