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Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
Swag is for boys. Class is for men.
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
I have off-road rage, too
Freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door.
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
There’s a police helicopter above my house right now, so I’m cashing in and calling everyone who has ever said “when pigs fly.”
Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells "CODE RED, CODE RED" really loud then people scurry like mad.
Don`t take nude pics. Problem solved.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche...
If nothing else, love is nice because it confirms that you do not hate everyone. Just everyone minus one.
I procrastinate so much I’ll probably put off death and never die.
Wal-Mart: Because going to Target requires a shower.