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When I said make yourself at home, I meant go wash my dishes.
I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
Roses are red, this much is true, Violets are purple, not f*cking blue
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
The problem with the world is intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of confidence.
Okay, If we get caught here’s the story…
If you`re in a hole, stop digging...
They say money can’t buy happiness… but it can buy bacon, and that is pretty darn close.
I wish electronics would scream a little bit when you unplugged them.
Still waiting on the "Once you go black, you`ll never go back" episode of Mythbusters.
I wanted to book an Elvis impersonator for a party so I phoned them up and got a call centre. It said `press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.`