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Do you want to know Victoria`s Secret? Their lingerie doesn`t look the same on your girlfriend as it does on their models..
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I`m not mean to poor people, like I am now.
Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."
Why even ask how my weekend was if you’re just going to interrupt me halfway through to say “Yeah, I saw your Facebook post.”
What idiot named it a mugshot instead of a cellfie?
I just assume that when a restaurant automatically adds 15% to the bill for a tip that the service is going to suck.
Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
A week is just five days of wishing you had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing you had something to do
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...