Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Here is your New Years Resolution. All of that stupid sh!t you did last year? Don’t do that crap this year. Done. You’re welcome.
Life is so much funnier if you have a dirty mind
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks I should skip work tomorrow.
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
My mother might be right.. I was the reason someone invented birth control.
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
I think I`ve finally found someone I could spend the rest of my life with, I should probably get out of her closet and introduce myself.
When you are a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since I last saw you!" As an adult, not so much.
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
I think my mailman is stealing my Nigerian lottery checks.
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
If zombies attack the world, everyone will run and hide. Except for us gamers, of course. We`ve been waiting for this all our lives!
If cats could text you back, they wouldn`t.