Daily Silly Status

"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer

I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….

All women are bad for me. At least that`s what my wife says.

These last 7 hours at work are always the longest.

I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"

So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.

This is my first lame status of the year. Enjoy!

I like wearing glasses because I like to dramatically remove them before I say something profound. Doing that with contacts doesn`t have the same effect.

I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.

Retirement plans compared .. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycl

I swear, if one more person calls me an alcoholic they are getting a high five too.

Life is hard ... It`s harder if you`re stupid.

Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed and it was....GREAT!

Instead of going to Starbucks, I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.

Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.