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If you are having anxiety over something you`ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
Admit it...Life yould be boring without me.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they`re the problem is the other half.
Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
I`m like the toughest guy in this comic book store.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that`s just for the alcohol.
Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
I wonder what the inventor of the drawing board said when his first design didn’t work out.