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Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
“Why is life so hard?” – Me, trying to open a jar of peanut butter.
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.
Ninja Mode is not a plausible excuse for not being seen at work.
Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
Career goal: Being successful enough to add bacon to my burger without asking how much more it costs.
Somebody asked for my name today, and when I told them they said "That`s an unusual name. You don`t hear that everyday" to which I replied "Well actually... I do"
FYI: You have to stop Facebook posting to have an alibi for ignoring texts.
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
Instead of laughing my a$$ off, I`m going to start laughing my stomach off. I`d rather lose that.
Sometimes I do totally awesome and amazing things just to throw people off.
I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.