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I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
My bed has no frame and sits directly on the floor because under-bed monsters are just one less thing I have to worry about now.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
If I had a dollar for everytime I was distracted, look squirrel!
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
Five little words that will win my heart, "I brought beer and pizza."
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
Of course bears sh!t in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
I`m just looking for a reason not to drink
Okay, enough procrastination. Time for excuses.
I`m on my 5th coffee, just in case you`re wondering about the "other way" to get to Narnia .
Procrastination: when "make a bucket list" is on your bucket list.
If you heard twenty minutes of moaning from my bedroom that was just me trying to stand up.