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How the hell do you call Batman during the day?
You know you are old when your birthday suit doesn`t fit anymore.
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
Fact: 96% of all arguments end with somebody saying “Google that shit!”
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
Remember to make some bad decisions today. 20 years from now that’s all you’ll have to make your kids think you’re cool.
I hope someone drives slightly slower in front of you on a crowded highway and you can’t pass.
Drunk me absolutely loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.
I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."
Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push ... into traffic.
why we do not have a romance class...............
If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away.