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I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
If I go missing this holiday season and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at the gym.
Exercise? More like extra fries.
The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.
All my biological clock does, is let me know when it`s time to eat again
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.
"That was supposed to be a compliment." -Men
I didn`t see anyone important today so I`m going to wear the same clothes tomorrow.
So apparently RSVP`ing back to a wedding invite `maybe next time` isn`t the correct response
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you have tits. Simple as that
Most problems can be solved with nudity.
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed and it was....GREAT!
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?