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As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
It`s not everyday you find a $50 bill in your pocket, I didn`t, but like I said it`s not everyday..
Nice try Jehovah’s Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
If you are having anxiety over something you`ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your house. Those bastads live forever.
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.
You don`t need training to be a street cleaner, you just pick it up as you go along.
If you are not sweating while doing it...then you are doing it wrong.
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
For just once in my life I want my phone to ring and for someone on the other end to ask if I`m on a `secure line`
All women have an hour glass figure – it’s just that they all tote around different amounts of sand.
Not everyone understands my laundry method. It`s simple. If it`s clean, it`s on the floor. If it`s dirty, it`s on the floor over there.