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My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
I`m an optimist. I didn`t lose a sock in the dryer. I found an extra one!
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.
....so then I said, "What gives YOU the right to judge ME?" And then he gets all, "Order in the court!" and starts pounding his gavel down...
Note: the 5 second rule does not apply to soup.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d like to think a beer is the way to go.
Another successful year no random father`s day cards in the mail!
Men who claim women belong in the kitchen definitely do not know what to do with them in the bedroom!
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd
My wife told me to strive for perfection, so I divorced her and started dating a swimsuit model.
The best part of being single is that you always get to be right.
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it