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Valentines Day is the only day of the year that the guy with the smallest package gets the girl.
I want to give up coffee, but I`d hate to do that to my coworkers.
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
Today is national bring your flask to work day. I just made it up. Tell the others...
Thanks for calling me to tell me you just sent that email
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
I didn`t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
Not so great minds also think alike.
What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.
"I’m definitely going to do that tomorrow.” — Me being delusional