Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
New camo condoms! She`ll never see you coming again.
People tend to get angry when you treat them the same way they treat you.
The problem with some people is that they`re breathing.
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
FUN FACT: I can fit 17 Pringles in my mouth. SAD FACT: I tried to figure out how many Pringles I could fit in my mouth.
Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You`ll know what I mean.
You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning.
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
Coffee gives me the illusion I`m actually awake
If you`ve never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you`ve never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
You’d think my password was “yourmom” because my computer just told me it was too easy.
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
I am really glad the shutdown is over. I`ll tell you something, it was very lonely being the only nonessential employee who was working.
Home is where the alcohol is.