Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.
Helpful Tip: When your wife ask whats on TV, don`t say dust.
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
Hate to break it to you mom, but my friends do not care if my room is messy, They care whether or not there’s food
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
Man I wanna throw a book at someones face and be like "I Facebooked you!"
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
I`m absolutely nailing this "I give a sh!t" face today!
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.