Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching `Night at the Roxbury.` "Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?"
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m a person.
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
The snooze button, because there’s nothing like starting your day off with a little procrastination.
I was watching craps at the casino all night until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom.
Go to China on honeymoon. Get intimate with Husband. Tell child that they were "Made in China."
The best way to change a woman`s mind is to agree with her.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
take it easy and if it is easy take it home
I`m using voice-to-text to post this status. All I do is talk and it makes a text out of it. It`s really cool... Hey! What are you doing? That`s my phone! Give it back! Come back here, you son of a...
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.