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If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I have a feeling my dying words will be "Honey, I was just joking."
When I buy a horse, I`ll call it `MY FACE`..imagine all the ladies screaming `come on my face`
I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix.
No PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on Facebook.
If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
I`m not fat. My stomach is in 3D
The only sit up I do is the one I use to get out of bed.
It would be great if there was an app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.
There were 2 muffins in a muffin shop the first 1 says "I love being a muffin!" then the 2 muffin says ``Holy crap its a talking muffin!"
Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
Facebook stalking? BAH! In my day, we used to root through people`s garbage.
What was that idiot thinking when he invented white underwear?