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My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
You know you`re getting older when you play GTA and spend 3 hours just walking around the map trying to find where you parked your car.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
I wish I could veto MY bills.
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
Where 5 minutes becomes 5 hours. Facebook.
If the shampoo and conditioner in her shower are not the same brand GET THE F*CK OUT, SHE`S A MAN!
The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl`s purse is when it doesn`t match what I`m wearing.
My cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it`s giving me serious ideas, folks
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I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.
Horse racing is like NASCAR only slower and with poop.
Me and my recliner...we go way back.