Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life.
One person forgetting to take their medication can really liven up a mundane day at the office.
"How about if I put a balloon over it? Would you touch it then?" -guy who invented condoms
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren`t there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?
Don`t judge me just because I sin differently from you.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
When people tell me that I’ve changed, I want to shake them and tell them: “And so should you!”
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
Half-Drunk is a waste of money.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Guys be like, "Lets play 21 question." Girl: Ok, what`s your favorite color? Boy: Triangle, so you a virgin?
The only benefit of getting new clothes for Christmas is that I don`t have to do laundry for another week or two.
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.