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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
I bet Miley Cyrus is eating Twerky right now.
I`m just a few smartphone apps away from never having to talk to anyone again.
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
Facebook is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
Who knew rock bottom was so crowded?
My bank balance is a constant reminder that I`m safe from identity theft
Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world ... to get back from a woman
My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
Coffee gives me the illusion I`m actually awake
Side effects of telling your wife to get a grip may include throat bruising or testicular swelling.