Daily Silly Status

Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.

You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.

?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."

I don`t like Instagram. It reminds me that somewhere people are doing stuff. I just don`t need that kind of pressure.

Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone

likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.

6 inch - about right, 7 inch - cant complain, 8 inch - f*cking perfect, 9 inch - a bit much, 10 inch - its hurting my insides, 11 inch - I cant take it anymore, 12 inch - I`m absolutely f*cking destroyed ... Aren`t pizza`s just awesome.

It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.

About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.

Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?

My “I hate you” face must look a lot like my “I’m loving this conversation” face.

I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.

Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.

I`m ok with women faking it in bed. I faked everything to get her there.

I got kicked out of a fancy dress party on the weekend, because I was wearing nothing but a red shirt. Not my fault nobody has heard of Winnie the Pooh!!