Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
Please say a prayer for my coworker. His life is so boring that he just Instagrammed his Jimmy Johns sandwich
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
Relax, we`re all crazy. It`s not a competition.
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
Without stupid people we would have no one to laugh at.
Marijuana is a type of flower, therefore I am a florist not a drug dealer :p
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
It`s always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I`m always like, "I love you," and they`re like, "Thank you for choosing Pizza Hut."
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
You don`t know true competition until you`re one of the last two people in musical chairs.