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I’m starting to think that the gym isn’t really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later.
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
If you’re not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever you prefer.
Autocorrect is a great feature, but it can also be your worst enema.
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
Thanks to Facebook, rock bottom now has a waiting list.
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
Installing home security cameras seemed like a great idea but explaining my dance offs with the dog was something I should`ve considered.
If your parachute doesn`t deploy don`t worry, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
If I was stuck on a desert island with only one record, I would want it to be the record for being able to swim the farthest.
Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
I bet if you look up dictionary in the dictionary it says "don`t be an a$$hole"
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks