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Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
Million dollar idea: Alarm clock that releases spiders... NOW you`re up.
Sandals or shoes? I have adorable toes. All 12
I saw that! - Karma
My therapist said that I needed to find healthier ways of expressing my anger. So I decided to jog home after setting fire to my ex`s car.
Its real cute how pedestrians confuse “right of way” with immortality.
Just because you have a beard doesn`t mean you`re a man. Last time I checked vaginas can grow hair too.
When people say "You look so familiar" responding with "Were we in prison together?" is almost always a conversation killer.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
Scientist Proved That There are more Than 124786534688644478 People Living In This world who are Too Lazy To Read The Above Number...!!!
They used to be called "jumpolines" until you jumped on one...
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
FANNNN...DANNNNN....GOOOOO. Breathe The A`s.
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.