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Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
Crap, summer is here and I`m nowhere near in drinking shape yet.
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Except when you’re heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.
only 9530 days until retirement.
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
My mom says I`m special.
Trust me, when they make a pill that REALLY makes your d!ck grow, that commercial will be on during the Super Bowl, not 3am!
I gave my cat 7up, now it has 16 lives
If you love someone, let them go, if they don`t come back..... Set them on fire *evil grin*
Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don`t even have a battery in my smoke detector...
Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself.
I`m confused by this "It`s 5 o`clock somewhere" statement. Bars open at 11. Idiots.
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.
Bad decisions make good stories.