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The only way you can be right in an argument with a woman is by admitting you`re wrong.
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
Don`t sweat the small stuff. Don`t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty a$$ elsewhere.
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
i wonder if fish get thirsty .
Just ONCE I`d like someone to call me "sir" without adding "this is a place of business, please put your pants back on."
Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don’t even know it.
How much Hershey`s Chocolate Syrup can I add before it`s really not a SlimFast shake anymore?
Guys, if a girl invites you upstairs for "coffee," first make sure she has coffee, you don`t want to get up there and there`s no coffee.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
Whoever decided to color underpants white was an idiot.
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
They say you are what you eat but I don’t remember eating a sexy beast.
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.