Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing says "My balls are kept in a jar inside her purse" quite like a joint Facebook account
The hardest part of the job interview is knowing the best moment to lean in for the kiss.
Christmas is just like any other day in the workplace, you work your butt off and the fat guy with a suit gets all the credit.
After 20 yrs of marriage, my best move is to clean something unexpectedly.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
I knew I`d be a great parent. Kids aren`t nearly as difficult to take care of as my drunk friends.
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
"May the 4th" be with you!
I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I`m fat and can`t run for more than 2 minutes.
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.
I would like to publicly apologize to anyone I have NOT offended…I will get to you shortly.