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So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
If it`s true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff
The bible says you can`t buy your way into heaven but there isn`t a church in the country that won`t encourage you to try.
Stop screaming, lady. All I said was `this is how pornos start`. It`s just elevator talk.
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
Did 4 push ups & 2 sit ups then ate 4 doughnuts & drank 2 beers. It`s called balance people!
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
DOCTORS WRITING: "?? ?? ??." HOW I SEE IT: "?????." HOW THE PHARMACIST SEES IT: "Aspirin."
The worst part of owning an invisibility cloak is trying to remember where you hung it up.
When your Dr. says "I`ll need to Google that"..... it`s time to change Doctors